The biggest change has been I have started my new job! After three years of being a penniless student I have entered the big bad world of full time occupation. I am really enjoying it so far, it's in an area I really wanted to work in, the staff are all great and hopefully my first paycheck will be awesome.
The main problem is ,at times, I can suffer from a bit of social anxiety. It seems to have no pattern to it, with one group of people I have never met I can be outgoing, funny and chatty and then with a different group I am shy, timid and I think I come across as standoffish. I just find small talk really hard on occasion but just with certain groups of people. Does anyone else get like this or am I just a complete weirdo?
My mind is saying 'Please, please be my friend' but my face is saying ' Back off bitch, don't even think about talking to me'
So that's something I need to work on. All in all though it is going really well. I love that I feel like I can finally plans things and my days off are all mine to do what I want. When I was student I was either in placement or university so on days off I was always working to get some money. There were times I was working a sixty hour week. But now I am planning to make the most of having more free time, catching up with friends, joining a gym. I recently rediscovered my love of jigsaw puzzles so I've ordered a 1000 piece one off Ebay and can't wait for it to arrive. I am so rock and roll sometimes it hurts.
On another note I have given up smoking...kinda. I used to smoke about twenty a day which is ridiculous seeing as I'm only 24. I used to get out of breath just walking up the stairs and my bedroom and car stank of smoke. So I made the decision that new job= new Sho and put down the menthol's. I've been using the patches and gum and it's been OK so far. I've had a couple of slip ups. I'd say over the past four weeks I've ended up smoking about twenty. I had a really stressful day at work so bought a packet of ten and then had two nights out and ended up smoking while drunk. But I am not going to berate myself too much as it's still a lot, lot less then usual. I worked out I spent about £140 a month on cigarettes, is it any wonder I was broke all the time?
However contrary to popular belief I don't feel fit and healthy. I wake up in the morning feeling like I've smoked fifty cigs and my skin is the worst it's ever been. My friend insists it's just the nicotine working it's way out of my system. I hope that's all it is and I'm not smoking in my sleep.
I do solemnly swear that I will not become a preachy ex-smoker when I do finally quit
And the final big news is that I have signed up for an online dating site and even went on a little date. But that deserves a blog post all of it's own.
Stay tuned
S x
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