Oscars 2013: My very important opinions

So I started a post reviewing the fashion at the Oscars, but it was so long I had to stop halfway through and have a nap. I was just rambling on about nonsense and I think I cracked a joke about how me and Daniel Day Lewis's wife were practically the same person because we have a similar dress. Yeah it wasn't pretty or interesting so I am going to review the fashion of the Oscars and each review is going to be three sentences or less. I clearly have a very short attention span so just indulge me.

Anne Hathway

This material looks hideous, like a bridesmaids dress from the 80's. Also her boobs look pointy. I do like her face though and at least she didn't gurn her way through her Oscar speech like she has through all her other speeches.

Charlize Theron

I love Charlize Theron so much, I want her to be my sassy older sister. But I hate this dress. The only time it is acceptable to wear a full length white dress is on your wedding day. Fact.

Daniel Day Lewis

Well done Daniel on winning your third Oscar and making history. Your wife deserves it seeing as she had to put up with you being convinced you were Abe Lincoln for months. I also like your snazzy navy tux, well done for spicing it up a bit.

Jennifer Lawrence

I love J Law as well, I think we could be great drinking buddies. I, however, do not like this dress. It makes her look like she has no boobs and it made her fall on the way up to the stage to get her award. Bad dress, go to the naughty step!

Jessica Chastain

Oh my God Jessica, you've forgotten to put on your dress. Quick go home before anyone notices you're naked, oh no wait you've just decided to wear a flesh coloured dress. Clearly you knew you weren't gonna be winning an Oscar this year so decided to dress like on instead.

Reese Witherspoon

My favourite dress this year. Even though the material is odd and the train is weird but at least it's not pale pink or white or grey or some other wishy washy colour! So you get the Sho Award for best dressed, it should make up the fact you weren't nominated for an Oscar for This Is War- travesty!

Amanda Seyfried

Hello ghost of Amanda Seyfried, come to haunt the Oscars. Actually I quite like this dress but come on girl, add some colour!

So that's my review of the Oscar fashions. It was all too pale, why was there hardly any colour? I felt like everyone looked really washed out and boring. I expected better to be honest. Next year when I'm there to win an Oscar for best Actress in the role of my life I shall wear a beautiful jade colour dress and I shall be faboo!

Loves ya

S x